The Timid Me

Introduction

Time has passed so quickly that I have been working as a pharmacist for ten years without even realizing it.

• I still vividly remember being a provisionally registered pharmacist, admiring the senior pharmacists for their wealth of knowledge and experience.
• I assumed they had worked long enough to become so knowledgeable that I could never hope to match them.
• However, as time went on, I eventually reached a point where I felt like an impostor if I could not answer the juniors' questions.
• The truth is simply that the relentless passage of time has made me a senior.

I have watched my batchmates become senior clinical pharmacists with advanced credentials, and have even seen juniors complete their Master's or PhDs.

• It feels strange to sit in the audience while junior pharmacists take the stage as speakers.
• Nonetheless, it is happening.

Yet, I am still performing the daily routines of a junior staff member - just faster at screening, transcribing, filling, and dispensing medications.

• Surprisingly, I am comfortable doing these tasks, as they make me feel like I am actively contributing to my patients' well-being.
• I have no desire to make difficult administrative and management decisions, or to deal with audits and complaints.
• Moreover, mentoring and managing new pharmacists is a challenging responsibility.

Contrary to popular belief, changing your job scope does not necessarily mean broadening your knowledge; often, it just means bringing your old insights to a new role and starting the relearning process all over again.

• The medical world is strange; the clinical knowledge you learn today will likely become outdated in ten years' time.
• For instance, we used to learn that two NRTIs and one NNRTI formed the backbone of HIV treatment. Now, that regimen has been largely replaced by two NRTIs and one integrase inhibitor (e.g., dolutegravir) due to its higher barrier to resistance and better side-effect profile.
• Consequently, the moment we stop working in a specific discipline, we lose touch. We simply lack the excess stamina and time to stay updated on everything beyond the immediate needs of our job scope.
• Therefore, I prefer to sit in the audience and absorb new knowledge from fellow health practitioners who can summarize the latest updates, rather than digging through guidelines and journals myself.
• The speakers on stage have invested their valuable time researching and diving deeply into specialized topics to deliver high-quality, effective presentations.

It takes years to realize that while the "senior" title may sound glamorous, and being on a medication counseling or safety committee might seem prestigious, the truth is we are just ordinary pharmacists.

• We may not necessarily be the ultimate medical experts in a specific field, but we all share the responsibility to push the profession forward.

The Illusion of Youthful Idealism

Until adulthood, we often spoke about "I" as if the world revolved solely around us – phrases like "I want to" and "I hope" dominated our conversations.

• Growing up within families that often prioritized our needs reinforced this self-centered perspective.
• When things did not go according to our wishes, we felt as though the entire world was conspiring against us.

Before venturing into the real world, young people tend to believe that their own perspective is the only correct one and that the world should conform to their ideals.

• This overconfidence stems partly from a naive belief that they are destined for success and a perceived superiority over older generations, often attributed to advancements in technology and the passage of time.
• Even with our perceived intellectual superiority, we fail to appreciate that the roles will eventually reverse, and we may become the very generation that younger individuals view as resistant to change and clinging to outdated ways.

However, through time and the often-painful life lessons of falling, crying, and moving on, we gradually realize our own insignificance and the wisdom that often lies in quiet contemplation.

• Previous generations likely encountered similar challenges, wrestled with the same issues, and diligently sought solutions.
• Management decisions and plans are typically the result of careful consideration of the needs of various stakeholders.

Only by seeing past our own ego do we start to view the world from a broader perspective; it is not always about "I", but about "we" - the people who live in our shared community.

• Nevertheless, we must acknowledge that despite its flaws, this youthful ego is what fuels our ambition, driving us to explore and experiment.

The Vastness of the World

Whenever I am standing atop a tall building or on an airplane, I am struck by the insignificance of human existence.

• We appear as mere ants scurrying around, whether in cars or on foot.
• The metallic cars that seem so sturdy and impenetrable from within appear like toys from a bird's-eye view.
• Consequently, we are equally powerless in the face of natural disasters such as floods or earthquakes.

Compared to the awe-inspiring vastness of nature, our presence on Earth is truly negligible.

• We occupy an infinitesimally small portion of the planet, that we claimed as home.
• Even if we depart from this world through accident or peaceful death, it will have no significant impact on the grand scheme of things.
• In the vast expanse of time, everything continues unabated.
• We are merely one of countless individuals who pass away every second.

While we may tend to believe ourselves to be the most brilliant among our peers, the often-overlooked reality is that many others are equally or more brilliant.

• Every era produces its own heroes and heroines, individuals who make significant contributions to society.
• However, we often fail to recognize the immense effort and dedication of others who are tirelessly pursuing their dreams.
• Many of these individuals remain quietly dedicated to their pursuits, their brilliance often hidden within their own focused lives.
• Only through active reflection and a conscious effort to look beyond our own perspectives can we truly begin to appreciate the remarkable individuals who enrich our world.

Summary

This realization does not diminish our individual worth, but rather serves as a reminder of humility.

• Remember that who you are today represents a continuous improvement from the person you once were.
• Cultivate a positive mindset towards the efforts of others, and never forget to respect others, just as you once expected respect from them.

In life, complaining is never an effective strategy.

• Remember, if you are not willing to work for it, then do not complain about not having it.

From another perspective, we should also realize that very few people pay close attention to every detail of our lives, beyond our immediate family and close friends.

• Most people may offer judgment for a time, but they quickly return to their own concerns.
• Therefore, it is crucial to be yourself and live life on your own terms.